Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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