The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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