i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
