I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize