Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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