his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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