So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize