ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
