p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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