ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
