im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i think i just lost a toe
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
