On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
