if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
