how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
