Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
