Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why do cheetos always look like penises
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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