I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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