Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
How external is "for external use only"?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize