woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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