Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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