glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
