After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
