whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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