Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
