Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
