I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
