After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
