If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
