We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
