She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
