we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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