yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
did i walk over a car last night?
being pregnant is like rehab
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize