Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
