so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I will be naked everywhere
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
