Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
