So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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