peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
