I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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