Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
