I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
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