As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
