she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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