I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
