She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
