ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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