well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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