he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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