I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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