how can u be prego again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
