im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
