sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
ttyl tear gas
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
