it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
not ubering you a puppy
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
