Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Alive.
So much puke
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up under a house in Key West
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
