so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
