She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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