i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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