i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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