You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So apparently I’m into choking now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
