How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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