sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Drunk is not a location!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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