Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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