just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
