They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
