So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
