Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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