So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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