he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
