Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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