dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Randomize