so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
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