just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
