she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
